The Negative Spiral of Conflict

How easily is to fall into negativity and hopelessness when we are in a situation of conflict with another person.

He will never listen to me“. “She always will see only her side, it’s part of her temperament”. We jump to conclusions like these when we felt frustrated and drained by the conflict.

We are more sensitive and reactive than usual to the words and actions of our counterpart. Conflict escalates in aggressiveness when both parts are engaged in negative emotions and feel attacked or offended. Then, usually, someone says something that immediately regrets.

A conflict could arise from different views, perceptions, expectations, or when one side starts expressing complaints and criticism. How many times the disagreement got worse, just because one of the sides could not explain himself/herself. The heat of the moment can blurry judgment and block empathy.

It is always better for a quieter moment to talk. A healthy space to reflect, and order the thoughts is always useful when a point want to be made. Also, keeping an open mind to the other point of view, and try to understand the emotions and background of the counterpart is very useful.

A heated discussion often leads to hurtful words that can be avoided when the spirits are calmed to talk.

It is an ironic fact that after a productive talk, many times parts find that they share much more than they thought.

Be aware of how the ego is an active participant of the conflict helps to resolve it as well. To recognize our shortcomings or our wrongdoings, does not make us weaker but stronger in time.



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